Life, Uncategorized

To What and to Whom do we Measure Life???

What does it mean to be Normal? Normal as a pose to what? Why do we upset ourselves by camparing ourselves to others. Especially when those others are still trying to get their own lives together. Are we not different? Do we not have a brain of our own?  Does The majority or norm really equate to the right and only way to be?

From small we are measured and compared by doctors and our own parents against other children. Parent compare their babies’ accomplishments based on their friends’ babies. Who’s child walked first or talked first and at what point. How many months did yours start walking and talking? If earlier than “norm” your child is a genius and you’re the best parent in the world. Now if it’s “average” that’s good nothing to worry about everything’s as it should be, but anything other something is wrong and it’s all your fault. You must not have taking your prenatal pills or maybe you didn’t play Beethoven during your pregnancy. Maybe dad has bad genes. Maybe mom’s eggs are bad. It goes on and on throughout the years. From walking to what school you go to and what grades you get etc…  Boys are compared by their height and how good they are in sports. Girls are compared by how long their hair is and how small their waist is.
In elementary school and middle school you should have good grades. You should be popular and have all the friends in the world. Your clothes has to be fresh you should have the latest toys, gadgets, clothes, and footwear. Your hair should be on point all the time. And if you have good snacks and/or money to buy some your doing great. If your on a team or a sport even better. Oh and let’s not forget the first one to get a cell phone and by cell phone I mean smartphone your cool. If your parents let you come to school by yourself or leave school by yourself double ✅. McDonald’s anyone???
When you hit high school your old enough to help out with your siblings and get a job while still keep up with your grades. Your old enough to have an opinion but not old enough to actually voice it. Your given choices but the ultimate decision is still your parents. You are  expected to know better and know what you want your future to be. Your expect to know what career your going to have and apply for a college based on that.
Then you be come a young adult your in college you should be working towards those decisions you made in high school to be a doctor, a lawyer or whatever it is that you choose. You should be going out partying it up with your friends every night at the same time. I mean your young and free!  No more rules and curfews from your parents it’s time to party. Right? Experiment with drugs and sexuality. Hookup a lot and hopefully you’ll find your soulmate in the mist. But, wait don’t forget you still have to find time to study and get 4.0 Gpa. Make sure your taking all those advance tough courses too. Exhausted yet? Sometimes that works out sometimes it doesn’t sometimes you get there and realize you don’t want to do that. You actually don’t know what you want to do. So now your changing majors and dropping and adding classes next thing you know your a double major or you have to take another year. You might even decide to take a break until you get it together. Maybe do a student abroad or something. Oh no here comes the criticism and the ridicule. Something must be wrong with you. Your failing your throwing your life away. Maybe your stupid and not cut out for college or maybe your on drugs. Or your a follower and you allowed people to deter you from your goals. Oh oh here’s one I love the most…. your just plain ole LAZY. Hmmmm so now you start to doubt yourself because how dare you not have your life together at 20. Everyone else your age must have there shit together. At least that’s what you parents are saying because Brian and Lisa’s kids are doing great.
Now it’s your 25th birthday and omg your almost 30 time to panic. A few of your friends have kids some may even be married. And if not they are in serious relationship so they are already on the path to that. Some may have “decent” jobs they may have their own place or living with a roommate or their lover. So now your comparing yourself to them are you on the right path? Do you have these things because if you don’t your doing something wrong. If you do good for you your amazing and your life is successful and fulfilling.
Oh no where did the time go? How did you become 30 already? Are you married with a house, a car, and a  white picket  fence? Do you have two kids and a dog? Did you become a doctor or lawyer yet? You do know your not 20 anymore you are officially an adult. You should have a great career your kids should be well behaved and in the best of schools. So you must have these thing you must have all your shit together, I mean right???
Now you 40 if your not married yet just know your gonna grow old and alone. Your credit better be impeccable and if you haven’t made partner in the law firm yet just give it up. You have officially failed at life just give it up. Kill your self……. just kidding but seriously what the hell your forty. Practically a senior citizen. Your kids think your old and out dated and your way past the age to not be a the peak of your career. All those young kids fresh out of college are stealing the jobs.
By your 50s you should be planning for retirement and looking to leave the city and get a house somewhere like Florida so you can bake biscuits for your grandchildren and start a hobby like knitting or gardening. Hey matter fact once you retire you should go travel the world you spent your whole life trying to get it together now it’s time to live your life and go skinny dippin’ in the ocean at some foreign nude beach with your spouse of 30 years.
Ok your in your 60s now. No more working time to lay back and relax in your big ole house. If you get bored go join one of those senior centers make bracelets and knit blankets. Go get your discounts with your AARP card. And wait for your grands and great grands to come visit you so you can talk to them about the good old days. And bake them cookies and cook them Sunday dinners.

Now your 70-80 which at that point stay home and maybe your kids, grandkids and great grands will take time out of their busy schedule to come visit. When they do come spoil them rotten with goodies and a few dollars. Old grandpa/grandma is the best right? Hopefully if you make it to 90 they will either come live with your or move you in with them. Cross your fingers 🙏🏾 that they don’t send you to a nursing home and forget about you. Ungrateful brats.

It just keeps going and going and going until your dead. And even with that you still have pressure on you. You better had left a Will and I hope you have great insurance to pay for the funeral and hospital bills. Hope you didn’t leave your family in debt.  Who did you leave the money too? Who gets the house you busted your ass for? 🤔
Does this sound about right? Are y’all all in place? Did you go to your age section and accomplish all they thing you should have? Or is something wrong with you? Did you fall short?
Listen I’m not here to make you feel good or bad about yourself. Everyone was put on this earth for a purpose and you may not always be on time…..well according to the schedule that society has placed on you. I’m here to tell you that’s ok. Move at you pace. Do what’s best for you. Everyone’s path is not yours. And once again to whom and to what are we comparing to? Normal or on schedule as a pose to what? Now I’m not saying blow you life away or don’t work towards your goals and future. I’m just saying don’t deem your life over or give up on yourself because Mike or Michelle are on a different page then you. Remember everyone’s shoes are not for you. Take those ugly gray ones off and go to the shelf and find the ones custome made for you.
Xoxo,
Smoochezzz 💋

6 thoughts on “To What and to Whom do we Measure Life???”

  1. Comparing yourself with others destabilizes your life, thereby making you think you are less than you really are. Then parents know how to make matters worse by comparing to their friend’s children or even your own friends forgetting that you are the same people.
    Happiness will come in life if only we can stop the comparison
    Thanks for sharing!.

    Liked by 1 person

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