Life

When the Impossible became POSSIBLE!!!


In this blog I’m going to get a bit more personal. My son just turned 5 and I became really emotional about it. Here’s why……

I remember like it was yesterday. April 2011 I was sitting in the doctors office as the doctor was giving me a physical. She couldn’t believe how fast my pulse was going. She ran test and told me how lucky I was seeing her because my heart was going so fast that any day I would have had a heart attack. I was lucky to be alive. She then noticed how enlarged my neck looked and came to the conclusion that I may have a thyroid problem. She asked questions like did anyone in my family suffer from a thyroid problem. I respond none of the ones that I knew. I never even heard of thyroid. Apparently it’s glands in your neck that control different hormones within your body. She wrote me a prescription for heart medication and then set me up with a thyroid specialist. I proceeded to the specialist in which she ran blood test and examined the glands in my neck. I was told to come back within a week for the results. A week later I’m sitting in the doctors office and she’s telling me that I in fact do have Hyper Thyroid and I will be taking medication for it for the rest of my life. Hopefully once I start the medication it will regulate my heart rate and within a few months I would be taken off of the heart medication. This Thyroid problem was the explanation for my drastic weight lost, my tiredness, my moodiness, why I began to lose strength, motivation and why I was so irritable. She asked me what I do for work and I told her I worked with kids. She then went on to tell me to see if I can be put at a desk and do office work because my body could no longer with stand and strenuous work. Being on my feet and any physical work I had to give up. She then goes on to ask me if I wanted kids. I didn’t put much thought to it. I mean of course I want kids but I’m 23 I’m not thinking that far into it. So I reply “idk not really”. She looks at me and says well don’t think about having kids anytime soon and probably ever because it’s  damn near impossible for you to get pregnant. If you do get pregnant you definitely won’t make it through the whole pregnancy. I felt like the rug was yanked from underneath me. Something I didn’t really put much thought into now became the most important thing to me. I walked out the room feeling defeated. I felt like I was being punished for something I had no clue about. I became a bit depressed. I went from being this active, strong and healthy person to now being diagnosed with an illness I didn’t quite understand, for the rest of my life. To top it all off I would not be able to have kids. Was this some sick joke? Is this real? Someone pinch me and wake me from this nightmare.

A few months go by and I’ve come to terms with my fate. It is what it is and I will just have to make the best out of it. I refuse to do a desk job because I love what I do. Plus, if I can’t have my own kids why not help others with their kids. I just knew I had to take it down a few notches. But, then the impossible happens. I start to feel as if something is a little off. Although I know what the doctor said something deep down is telling me that I may be pregnant. I decide to take a pregnancy test. Omg it turns out positive. I’m in such a disbelief but also filled with joy and excitement. I haven’t felt this happiness in months since I was diagnosed with the stupid hyperthyroid. There’s no doubt in my mind that I’m having this baby. I proceed to make an appointment with my Ob/Gyn. There I take another test. It too is positive. She talks to me about my options and I admittedly say I’m going through with it. She warns me this will not be a normal or easy pregnancy but she’s with me every step of the way. I was considered a “high risk” pregnancy. She then starts setting me up for numerous appointments. I never forget my very first sonogram. He looked like a little kidney bean. I kept hearing this thumping sound so I turn an ask the lady what that is and she says “oh that’s your baby’s heart beat”. Heart beat!!!! I couldn’t believe it. Who knew at 6 weeks the baby already had a heart beat. I just remember sitting there with tear streaming down my face. What an amazing moment. I’m getting all teary eyed now just thinking about it now as I write this. Some months go by and it was a bit stressful. I had doctor’s appointments 3 times a week and while in most pregnancy the mother gains weight I was losing weight. My medication for my thyroid was switches about 3 times until we finally found one that worked for me without much harm to my baby. I hated each visit with the exception of the sonogram one. That was the only one I looked forward to every week. Seeing the new developments on the screen every week was exciting to me and it kept me focused as to why I was enduring all of this. At 31 weeks and 6days I went in to my appointments excited and nervous all huddled up into one. This was the day I would learn the sex of my baby. So as the woman is prepping me with the cold gel on my stomach she asks me what do I think the baby is going to be. Giving that my family is mostly girls with my luck I tell her it’s probably going to be a girl. She then asks me what do I want. As a little girl I’ve always said I wanted both a girl and a boy but I’d want the boy first. So of course I tell her a boy. She places the sonogram wand on my belly and begins to search. A few seconds go by before she blurts out “It’s definitely a boy!” Did I hear her right? Did she just say I’m having a boy? Omg I sit up, “let me see”. She points on the screen I don’t really see nothing but if she says it’s a boy then dammit it’s a boy. I jump up and get cleaned up as she prints out the pictures. Still in disbelief I call my best frien so she can meet up with me and then I call my mother “It’s a boy!!!!!” I shout out. I take pictures of the sonogram pics and start sending it to everyone. I even post it on fb. Of course I already have a name because it’s been the name I’ve had since I was a little girl. Jayden Michael Nedd-King. As I get closer to my due date I end up changing his middle name to Hunter. My best friend and I go straight to children’s place, h&m, and baby gap. My mother says not to by anything yet because it’s bad luck but idc because I’m too excited. Who would of thought I’d be the one to have a boy. Excitement turned into nervousness because wait a minute… I know absolutely nothing about boys. What am I going to do. I’m a girl surrounded by little sisters and little girl cousins what the hell do I know about raising a boy? Plus, going into this baby stores I quickly noticed how they catered more to girls and only left a little corner for the boys while the girls had The Who’s store or floor. Non the less I’m having a boy and I’ll just have to figure it out.

Months go past and things seem to be going smooothly. I’m gaining the right amount of weight and Jayden is developing just fine. My baby shower was a big success and my support team was stronger than ever. I’m in a great place and the words of my thyroid specialist is long forgotten. My due date was for March 24, 2012 and in case he wasn’t ready to come by then my doctor set up an appointment to induce me on March 28th. I schedule my last day at work to be Friday, March 16. I wanted to give myself a week to rest and prepare for my little bundle of joy. About 3 in the morning March 20th I started to get a weird pain but it was nothing major. Felt more like an upset stomach or gas. I kept running to the bathroom trying to make myself go but there was nothing. I figured maybe it was something I ate. A few hours later would be my last checkup before Jayden came. It was scheduled for 11:30. I get up and get dress pack my little bag because I had plans to stay uptown with my mother and sister that weekend. I left my bag in the house because the elevators in my building was not working and I didn’t want to carry it down 13 flights of stairs so I figured when my sister came I’d send her upstairs to get it. Now I’m proceeding to my appointment which is literally 2 blocks away from my house. When I get there I’m told that my OB/GYN had an emergency and was not in today but there was another doctor available to see me. I’m admittedly annoyed because I’ve become very fond of my doctor and now they are giving me a different doctor and a male at that. Not that I had anything against male doctors but I just feel a lot more comfortable with a female doctors checking out my lady parts. Any who, I walk into the room and immediately a shark pain hits me and then another. He comes in washes his hands and puts on gloves to check me. “Oh, Ms. King you are dilated 2cm so you will most likely have the baby tonight or tomorrow morning” he tells me. I’m nervous because it’s only Wednesday I’m not due until Saturday and am I really ready for this? Another pain damn it’s getting stronger each time. By the time the appointment was over I could barely stand straight the pains were too intense. I call my sister where are you hurry up I can’t walk. She was on her way and told me to meet her at the Mc Donald’s down the block. I swear walking down the block was the hardest thing. I was in so much pain. I’m literally hunched over as I walked down the block holding on to the cars parked along the side of the street. I get into Mc Donald’s and immediately sit down. Tears are streaming down my face because this is too much. If I’m just at the beginning stages and there is more to come I’m not gonna be able to handle this. I call my boyfriend he’s already downtown too far to get to me. My sister rushes in. She helps me walk back to my building. I sit on the bench and she runs up and gets my bag off the couch we then catch a cab and head uptown. My mother gets off work and comes home. That was Wednesday. Thursday the pains get more intense and they start coming faster. We rush to the hospital where my boyfriend meets us. The doctors check me only to tell me that I am still only 2 cm and in order to check me in I need to be 4cm. I’m sent home. That night it’s even worse. I can’t eat I can’t sleep I’m miserable I could barely do anything. We go to the hospital yet again. Still I’m only 2 cm the doctor tells me to go walk around the block a couple of times. Walk around the block???? Is she kidding me I can’t stand up straight and she wants me to walk around the block. Smh I’m over it and once again I go home. I’m exhausted so I go to sleep but the pains are so intense that I’m jumping up in the middle of my sleep screaming and then falling back down sleep. I swear it was like a scene in a horror movie. All night I’m doing this. Around 6 am my mom gets up to go to the bathroom and she hears me screaming and falling back to sleep over and over again. She wakes me up and tells me that the contractions are coming too fast and it has to be time now. I’m over it and don’t want to go because I swear if they send me home one more time I’m going to lose it. I’m too tired I just want to sleep. Needless to say she convinces me to go but the pain is unbearable and my sister has to dress me. Her and my mom are carrying me downstairs because I’m to weak to walk on my own. We get in the cab and go back to the hospital. It is now Friday, March 23rd about 7 something am. The doctors examine me and I am 4 cm they are finally going to admit me. Thank God because I was ready to set it off in there if they told me to walk around or go back home. By 1pm I’ve only moved to 6cm. Four more and then I can push. Although I planned a natural drug free birth I couldn’t withstand this anymore. I opt for the Demerol. That was a waste, all it did was make me even more sleepy then I already was but I still felt every contraction. A hour later I decided to get an epidural. Finally, the pain was gone and I was able to sleep. I must of had about 5 or six guest in the room just talking and watching tv but I was knocked out. I ways way to exhausted to entertain anyone. As soon as the epidural kicked in I knocked out snoring and all. I was a little annoyed though because the doctor and nurses kept coming in to check my vitals and see how far I dilated. I just wanted to sleep but I knew they was just doing their job.

Around 3:30pm the doctor comes in and wakes me. He explains to me that I am only 6.5 cm and that my blood pressure was rising and that Jayden’s heart rate was drastically dropping. In order for us to both safely survive he had to do an emergency C-section. Jayden had to come out now and that only one person would be able to come with me in the operating room. I originally planned for my mother and boyfriend to both be in the room but now I had to quickly choose between the two. The only logical answer would be for my boyfriend. I mean it’s our first child so of coursed we’d both want to experience this moment. The nurse hands him the scrubs to put on as they prep to transfer me to the other room. Now it’s time I’m laying on a room full of all these bright lights and curtain pulled across me the doctor and nurses prepping and sterilizing everything. I had the
anesthesiologist sitting on my right side and the soon to be father of my baby boy on my left. The other doctors and nurses where on the other side of the curtain. Remember the doctor telling me I would feel some pressure and a slight pinch but instead I could feel him cutting into me and I yell out to tell him to stop. Apparently the epidural was wearing off and the anesthesiologist had to up the dose. After waiting a few minutes he proceeded again. I was falling in and out of sleep. It was so cold in there my body just wanted to shut down but they kept waking me up. Next thing I know I hear this loud sucking sound. I ask what’s that and they said my baby was here and it was him. They hurried up and cleaned him up and brought him to us. There he was at 4:12 pm weighing 5 lbs 15 oz. He was so perfect in every way possible. Wrapped on his blanket face all greasy and sucking on his tongue I finally knew what it was like to love someone more than yourself at this exact moment. Did I really create this precious life? God is amazing!!! After a quick picture he was rushed away into the ICU room. Due to the fact that I was a high risk pregnancy he had to be sent there for observation. He’s father went off with them but I was still there being stitched back up. After everything was done I was rolled into the recovery room where my family was waiting for me. Unfortunately it wasn’t until the next morning when I would be able to see my Jayden. The next day I woke up early the woman next to me had her baby with her I asked when my baby would be brought to me but was told that he had to stay in ICU and that they would bring a wheel chair and roll me over to see him because I was still in a lot of pain and the ICU room was on the other side of the building. I was able to stay with him just long enough to feed him and then I was taken back to my room. It was hard going past the rooms of the women with there babies and then having to share a room with a a woman who was able to keep her baby. I hate having to rely on whatever available nurse there was to roll me over there so I sucked the pain up and made sure to go there every hour to feed and change him. They had breast feeding classes for the mothers but I stayed in my room because I was already told by the doctors that I wouldn’t be able to breast feed due to the medication I was taken. I remember being told I would be discharged but there was a possibility that he would not be able to come home with me yet because they where still running test. That night I remember crying myself to sleep because it was just too much to bare. I could her the woman next to me and her baby. I felt once again like I was being punished this was torture. 😪 Not being able to have a natural birth, not being able to breast feed, not being able to have him in the room with me and now not being able to take him home. It was just entirely too over whelming. I woke up in the wee hours of the morning with a high fever. I had become extremely sick due to the milk build up within my breast and probably just my mental break down. I was given Motrin and antibiotics. (There was a nurse on duty that night checking my vitals and giving me medication. She told me how lucky and surprised she was because her daughter suffers from the same thing and she has been struggling to have a baby for years. That she did get pregnant once and she had a miscarrage.) The doctors decided to keep me one more night to make sure I was ok. That day Jayden was cleared and I was able to take him in my room. I was also cleared and we left the hospital together ready to start our new life as mother and son. 5 years later and I have a happy, healthy, silly and extremely smart young boy. I am now a mother of not one but two amazing boys and I thank God every day. 🙌🏾

Xoxoxo,

Smoochezzz 💋💋💋

2 thoughts on “When the Impossible became POSSIBLE!!!”

  1. Great read. IChildren are a blessing but having a condition that can complicate a pregnancy or even threaten your life? Your selflessness is a testament !!

    Like

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