Depression hit me like a shock wave. If you haven’t seen my last post Click here before you continue. It was so fast and so intense I didn’t know what was what, but this week I started to feel better. After weeks and weeks of being all dark and dreary, I feel as if a light has come in. Am I 💯 percent back to my normal ways? No, but I’m getting there. Here are some of the things that have helped me shake the funk.
The Road Towards Recover
First things first acknowledging that there is something wrong. Saying out loud that you’re not happy is big. It leads you in the direction of fixing the problem. You can’t fix something if you don’t know it’s broken right? That’s why I had to write. I broke out the journal and just wrote. Every time I had a feeling no matter what the feeling was I wrote it down. If I was tired or annoyed, or excited, even hungry, I wrote it down. I wrote how I felt and then reflected on why I was feeling that way as well as what I’m going to do to fix that.
Believe it or not, crying is good for you. As much as I hate to, it is necessary. It cleanses the soul. Kind of like when it rains and all the dirty snow and garbage gets washed away. The sun comes out and dries up everything and it’s as if everything is back to its good graces. Welp that’s what tears are to me. Every now and then our souls need a rinse. It’s like after being out all day and you tired from a long stressful day. You jump straight in the shower and rinse the day away. That is what tears do it washes the pain and stress away. Coming out the shower looking and feeling like a better you. So, yes crying is as important as the rain washing the earth and as the shower washing away the dirt and the stress of the day.
I didn’t realize it but those weeks that I’ve been out of it, I hadn’t really been listening to my music. Those of you who know me know that I’m a dependent on music. I never go anywhere without my headphones. I use music in every aspect. Where I’m happy, sad, scared, feeling spiritual, need to relax or need to be pumped up music is the key for me. So the other day instead of watching Netflix on my way to work I decided to put some music on and I pressed shuffle. Guess what song came on first…Yesterday by Mary Mary. I swear the words hit so close to home. It was like God was sending me a message. From that song a mixture of different songs started to play and with each song I felt better and better.
Support is very much a big factor. Many of times during depression you feel alone as if it’s you against the world. You can be surrounded by thousands of people and still feel completely alone. That doesn’t mean support is helpless. it just takes a lot for us to see past all the clouds. Sometimes we expect certain people to be there or to care and understand and when that doesn’t happen it becomes devastating. I must say that I received support from people I didn’t expect to be in my corner. Many people judge and misunderstand or just don’t care but they didn’t. Instead, I was shown compassion and support. That meant a lot to me. I needed it.
depression drains you. It literally sucks away everything you have. It’s like a parasite feeding off of your soul damping your spirit. So rest, sleep and build up energy. Sleep helps take your mind off things. It’s a brief escape from your tormented thoughts.
Switch it up. I had to do something different. All though it was nothing major. I switched up my hair. Not exactly a style I had not done before but it was a style I havent done in a few months. For months I’ve been doing a short black bob cut and i needed a change. So long medium Senegalese twists in black with a few purple ones. I normally wear this style in the spring or fall time but like I said I needed a switch up. I also love makeup and have tons off it but since I’ve been in a slump I haven’t had the enthusiasm to even put on makeup and I definitely haven’t wanted to go any wear. Once I changed the hair it motivated me to throw on some makeup. The hair and makeup lifted the spirits. I don’t know why it did that but it made me feel better. Now I don’t wear makeup because of low self-esteem. I am very happy with my looks with and without make up, but makeup is like an art. Some people use painting and drawing as a form of their therapy that’s what makeup is for me.